Wilderness Athlete’s Gnarly Bandit Ultra Series – The Gnarly Bandit Himself Writes a Message
These here floods tried to wash away my Ponderosas through the Midwest, but didn’t get ‘er done. In the Wilderness Athlete’s Gnarly Bandit Ultra Series, you know, the one I went and created, nastiest ultra series in the land, just right to beat you down, heat over there in Wisconsin to just about every weather imaginable attacking my troops in the Black Hills ‘Hundert just about did us in. But, I’m a-reportin’ two are alive and ready to assault Sawtooth, that dastardly Ultra-terior up in Northern Minn, while waving the Wilderness Athlete’s Flag, chasing after their Pot-O’-Gold.
According to that Smith guy’s records, and I can a-tell you he ain’t so good at that stuff–in fact, he ain’t so good at nothin’ if you’re a-askin’ me, you can call home and ask his wife — two remain in the hunt to share my $500 bounty:
Daryl Saari, Rochester, MN
Adam Schwartz-Lowe, Minneapolis, MN
All of you who entered the series can be a-mailing that Jerod fella at Wilderness Athlete (email@example.com), letting him know you appreciating their contributions, and lettin’ him know what you can use. You might be surprised what you get in the mail. (Jerod’s email is at the top of this email. Phillip)
With that new guy taking over in Northern ‘Sota, and Larry the-bearded-one now providing sage advice, much like me the Gnarly Bandit, there might be a sneaky surprise of weather up there in Superior; you know, the spirits of them mountain tops enjoy messin’ with all who walk on their sacred grounds. I’ll be a-watchin’ behind some trees.
Well, I’m gonna rock back in my chair now and take a sip of ‘shine I brought back from them Hills in ole Tennessee. There’s some mighty good folks down there, way, way back in those woods where little steamy tanks take corn and create magic, also known as headaches. Later I’ll use the same stuff to clean carburetors on the ole John Deere, too.
You athlete-type folks just keep a-using that Wilderness Athlete stuff; that’s the winning ticket. And even if you’re out of the series, still be-a-enterin’ that Sawed-tooth and the Wild Duluth, referin’ to a night out with that Holak feller.
‘Til later, The Gnarly Bandit Hisself”